Near and Far Faith

I have little time for much else than family, school, and working with A Church of Living Hope 60 miles away, but in my studies I had to read this poem by John Donne and it was good, so I thought I'd share it.

Batter my heart, three-personed God, for you

BATTER my heart, three person'd God; for, you
As yet but knocke, breathe, shine, and seeke to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow mee,'and bend
Your force, to breake, blowe, burn and make me new.
I, like an usurpt towne, to'another due,	5
Labour to'admit you, but Oh, to no end,
Reason your viceroy in mee, mee should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weake or untrue.
Yet dearely'I love you,'and would be loved faine,
But am betroth'd unto your enemie:	10
Divorce mee,'untie, or breake that knot againe;
Take mee to you, imprison mee, for I
Except you'enthrall mee, never shall be free,
Nor ever chast, except you ravish mee.

In this final post in this series I want to turn the focus more on the heart of the individual than a broad swath or group. In the past years I've seen a trend of stunted growth as followers of Jesus and the failure lies with us and in our hearts, not with the church leadership or programming. It is this: that within a year or so of beginning a relationship with Jesus a curve comes in that path of healthy growth and to round that curve and keep growing one must begin to give sacrificially. I've talked about this before but it plays a part so crucially in the growth of a church because in the end, that growth is the growth of the individual heart. This makes sense as Jesus set such an amazing example of service. Look at Mark 10:43-45 - "But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

See, when it comes to our journey and the American church, many Christians have stalled at that curve in the road that comes so early. Older Christians who have been following Christ for years who simply come to church and exist as a non-functioning body part because this task of giving was deemed too hard or awkward or perhaps there were no ready opportunities and they needed to be forced or created. Or "giving" was reduced to just "money". While some of the responsibility of it may lie with the discipler, or lack of one, ultimately it is our next step to seek a place, a way, or a method to give. We serve a generous God who gave - healing and wisdom and blood. He is a God of sacrifice, but I see in my own life a degeneration that occurs when I stop serving. It is a central rubber-meets-road component of our faith.

That is why it is such a crucial part of finding a church. Ultimately the goal should be to plug in and give of what you have. This includes time, money, and talents.

One final thought on this. Do not underestimate the creativity of the enemy in discouraging us or distracting us along this part of the journey. If it is so important it makes sense why it should be so hard sometimes. Be ready for a fight with schedules, with awkwardness, and with relationships. It is worth following Christ because this is ultimately finding a church - giving as He did.

Who in church world hasn't sat through a boring message preached at church? I'm sure I may have even preached a few myself. But I try not to. One of the transformational books in my life was "Communicating for a change" by Andy Stanley. The concept asked this simple question: Are you communicating when you preach for information transfer (much like a school teacher) or for life change? The bottom line, Sunday morning, though not on its own, is much less for information transfer and much more about the love and Word of Christ transforming hearts towards His.

When evaluating the teaching and preaching of the message of a church, there are some important keys that can help both those seeking a church family and those doing the preaching.

1) Scripture is central. A healthy church is based completely on the Word of God in all they do - it is in the hearts of it's leaders because they are devoted to growing towards Jesus, not out of duty of office, but of relationship with Christ. I don't know how to say this, but often a message seems forced - like a person is saying things that they should say, not that they MUST because it just has to come out of what they are learning. If a leader is truly in the Word on a personal level, it will be in and through all their life, especially their preaching.

2) People are accounted for. People were the focus of Jesus' time. He healed thousands, spending time knowing their problems and needs. The message of a church should take into account it's community, knowing it's needs. This is something that I have not done a great job at in the past, frankly because it requires a reorganization of your time and getting your hands dirty. But when you do it will shape what you talk about. I'm not saying that messages should be need or topic or activist driven, but it should show an awareness of the people listening and who they are. One other thing here - we are done and far past the days when the pastor is the Holy Man. Accounting for people means being transparent and honest about your struggles. If people think you are un-relatable - that you are better than them - then they simply won't listen.

3) The Preacher should like preaching. This is one of those things that those outside of the church world just don't get - why would you have someone who is bad at public speaking... speaking publicly? The hard pill to swallow is that perhaps the head pastor is not the best preacher and this requires humility to lead where your strengths are as a pastor and let others who are gifted rise to the place where it fits. If God has called the head pastor to lead the church, why do they need to preach also if they are not gifted there? Too many pastors have been too prideful to admit that others may fill that roll better than them and that doesn't mean that they are not the lead pastor. On the other hand, it's not to say that one cannot improve their skills in this area. But again this requires humility in admitting that they are not good at something and need help and training. We are not called to perfection, but excellence for Christ. This is an important are that is seen most often and evaluated least, especially from the church leadership side of things.

One last thought: if you are a preaching church leader, do you have people that will give you honest evaluation? These people are those you are in deep relationship with, not usually the "back door poll" as people walk out the door. For me, it's a very small group, starting with my wife. Honest evaluation may hurt sometimes, but is necessary for life change.

So I've been sharing my thoughts on what makes a church findable by those who are looking, not because I'm any kind of expert, but simply because we are in a season that's granting us a new perspective in looking for a church and frankly many of the things that I've been noticing are eye-opening. Meaning that in my church leadership experience I never considered these ideas and maybe you haven't either.

So today I wanted to write about the part that, while a very passionate subject for me, is most misused in determining a church home - music and technology.

There is an undeniable factor of welcome and cultural awareness that is very important. If you deny the direction of current music and cutting edge technology then you are burying you head in the sand of the world that Christ has put you in the midst of to reach. But often we who are tech-geeks and/or musicians elevate these things above much more important parts of a body because they can make us uncomfortable and we see weakness instead of opportunity. So maintain the balance - always be open, no matter what the aspect you're evaluating, to using the passion that comes to light in your heart when you see "weakness" as a potential way for you to be used and not a reason in itself to attend or not attend a church.

That being said, a church should be AWARE of the culture that it is in and this is most often reflected in things that are very visible on a Sunday morning, like the music, technology, and message. From a leadership perspective it's a coin with two sides - on one you have committed church attenders who want to worship and sing and participate, and on the other you have those who may be far from church culture and God and willing to try it in a risky journey into religious culture. Be aware. Be in the community, not just in the church building. Get Rolling Stone or Relevant sent to the office. Buy new music. Visit places (not just churches) where technology is being used on the cutting edge. Have an in depth conversation with a first time visitor AFTER the church service and get their honest thoughts.

Many time these ideas disintegrate into a debate over style. From the church looker standpoint, ask yourself if you are putting yourself first or the body of Christ. If the body is first Christ you are looking to serve, not for style. However a church that refuses to engage and be relevant with the culture God's placed them in the midst of, serving their neighbors in ways that show that they KNOW their neighbors, will become in-grown and selfish in the same way, trying to rescue people from Hell who have already been rescued.

One last note. If you notice changes that need to be made in your church's culture or operating, start by making those same changes in you own life. Not in the ministry you're involved in, but your own heart. Not only will you learn deeply about the changes you want to see, but lead by example and you will have a foundation to stand on when when the time comes to suggest changes on the full scale.

This is a part of ministry that is often hard to gauge and evaluate simply at different points in your own life it means a variety of different things and carries a wide scale of importance to you. So whether you are looking for a church or are part of the leadership at one, implementing and maintaining a quality children's ministry and student ministry is one of the many keys to seeing the health of a church and ensuring lasting depth in the people that attend who will hopefully become part of the family. Admittedly, before I had kids it was very low on my priority list. But now that I'm in the midst of early childhood with all four of my kids, I'm keenly aware of all the aspects of a children's ministry at a church and see how vital a role they will play. So much so that it will always be important to me no matter what our children's age.

First let's talk about why though before we talk specifics. Having been involved in youth/student ministry and children's ministry for the last ten years, I've seen many different strategies at work. Some good and some bad. There are two things that I believe shape a good pre-adult facet of a church.

First is this: children and teenagers are NOT the "church of the future" as is often said. They are today's church - an integral part of ministry now. What this looks like means shaping every part of pre-adult ministry to allow THEM to minister and serve. It's a lot easier so say here and a messy complicated process to figure out in each church culture. But it is vital that they all learn as early as possible the concept and heart of serving that was so dear to Christ. Ask this simple question of children's ministry and student ministry: are they serving?

Secondly is the target. What is the aim of each class and aspect of the children's ministry? Is it just the end of that class - to get the preschoolers into the elementary class or the middle schoolers to the high school ministry? Research has shown that over 80% of people that attended church throughout childhood dropped out of the body as soon as they graduated high school. Reggie Joiner attacked this concept in his book "The Slow Fade". The concept that he puts forth is this: that most key adult decisions are made between the ages of 18-25 but that the church's aim is often far short of that age. The idea being that every aspect of children's ministry and student ministry aim at the college age of post 18+ and helping kids and students become integral parts of the body by that point. Again, a simple concept to discuss, but it will look very different from church to church. But I believe that these two things shape a healthy pre-adult part of any church body.

That being said, the only way to really evaluate well is to get your hands dirty in these ministries. As is with many of these ideas on this series of posts, it's not about passing judgement on a church or it's leadership, but about honest evaluation. But this cannot take place unless you serve in the body somewhere. From a church looker standpoint, finding a way to serve is a huge part of choosing the right church. From the leadership perspective, it means asking yourself if you have you gotten your hands dirty in the deepness of pre-adult ministry, or have you let it slide off your mind because you don't have kids that age or have kids yet?

The critical piece that is often missing behind follow up (if it does exist at all) is the heart behind it. Or at least making the heart behind it communicable. As people created in God's image we desire to be known. So following up after someone visits is important to let them know that they are not just a number a church is using to bolster its confidence... and I believe that people can sense when that is the case. People can also sense when follow up is obligatory. Thus the heart behind it should be to communicate intimate felt value to that visitor. We should, as others also created by an intimate God, be deeply concerned and caring for all others and that should be felt in any follow up.

So as church leaders we should make sure to cast adequate vision for follow up before we invest the time to design a follow up process.

As church lookers, this is not a closed-handed issue, but it will give you insight into a church's heart so be sensitive to the heart behind the follow up call or email.

One more note on this and that is the welcome factor of a body. Follow up begins the moment a new visitor walks in the door, but be careful to keep things balanced. Some may want to share their life story with you while others may not want to be bothered at all if this is their first foray or last ditch effort with God and church. Either way we should feel noticed and welcomed in that notice when we visit a church. I have found that a good guideline is to at least remember someone's name the following week or later on that day. It shows them that value them enough to remember who they are.

Also as church leaders we should be careful who we put in the roles that will be doing the majority of the follow up. While the responsibility lies with all of us, there are some of us very gifted at a balanced and welcoming persona and others of us that are... well... un-gifted at that. Work hard to help people discover their gifts but never force people into a need-role that may be completely contradictory to their giftings. Doing this means designing a process by which believers that know what their gifts are can take quality time to walk along side of those who may not know yet and help them awaken to their gifts. I am continually surprised at how many supposed "mature Christians" either have no idea what their gifts are or are working head-long in ministries contradictory to what they are... which most others around them can easily see.

So this piece is quite simple but it was the first thing we were confronted with and frankly something that as a church leader I never spent too much time really evaluating. Is your church findable... literally? Often we can see an extremely different perspective if we just put ourselves in the shoes of someone who has never been to church and is in some way motivated to start. Where to they start? Well as far as I can see, there are 3 possibilities:

First is by word of mouth - asking people you know if there is a church that may fit your family. This is really the best way as it puts you in a position of conversations which can open up all sorts of awesome kingdom opportunities. The problem is that if you move into a new community you probably don't have many people that you know or trust to point you in the direction - this is where we are right now. So if you can talk to people about it, start there. As a church leader, this can make you keenly aware of your church's reputation in the community. It can be scary but will give you a great honest picture of who you are, not just who you think you are.

Second is the phone book. I know it seems old school, but what the phone book is unique for is clustering a list of churches, usually by denomination and affiliation, and doing it for YOUR COMMUNITY. And everyone usually gets one for free dropped on their doorstep. There is something much more relaxing about being able to browse and contemplate options on paper too so as a church don't underestimate the value that you pay for a decent phone book add. The church that Cher and I last attended (not worked for) we found in the phone book. So this is (as are all of these) something that we have put into practice.

Third and most obvious is the internet. This is great if you know how to search - Google, for example, can give you "local results" which will show you what's near you. The big, huge question here is is your church findable on the internet? Does it come up when people search? And if it does, is your website designed to display who you really are to those looking? Again, I think we as church leaders we more often think like church people here as opposed to people not yet attending. Here are a few good pointers that we've noticed: first impression is everything, so what does the front page of your site look like? Is it easy to find the church itself through the site? If it takes you more than 2 clicks to find pertinent info like directions and times, it's not designed with church lookers in mind. Also, are there pictures? I was surprised how many sites I visited recently that had no pictures of their congregation, only stock photos of "families". Pictures give me as the looker a glimpse at who you are. We must consider technology too. Flash looks great but won't work on most smart phones. I tried to go to a site recently for a church and it was all flash... so I couldn't see any of it on my phone or Cher's iPad. Think about a mobile site too. A mobile site is a separate site that smarts phones are redirected to which is more easily usable with your phone. Think about it - you're driving around and see a church and want to check it out before you forget. Can you do that adequately from your phone? Check out an example of a church's mobile site here.

A mobile site is great and something I never thought about until recently, but all these things don't just take time and thorough investigation, but money too. But as churches we most invest where it counts and if people can't get to you, nothing else really matters.

More than any of this - above it all - is prayer. Often we take God out of Google. Can't God use the technology of the day and the encounters with coworkers to guide us to the right church home and family? Before you start manipulating your findability as a church or putting these things into practice to find one as a family, pray that the Spirit would lead and then seek those leadings and opportunities.

One of the most important things to evaluate in a church, especially in a first impression, is also the hardest - the general health of the church. We'll define a healthy church as one able to deal with conflict, having a clear purpose and vision in action, having a purposeful and clear multi-level leadership structure, and a serving and mutually-submissive heart. I know that that is overly simplistic, and as we go I may add to it. Furthermore, these are big broad ideas that take time and careful involvement to evaluate, meaning you cannot often make a clear call on the health of a church on first glance. But if you know what to look for, you can get some indications that will help answer some questions.

What does the pastor say? What do the people say that are up front? Who you put up front are the people that you trust. So what do they project? Do they seem condescending? Bumbling and uninformed? Over-educated? Out of touch with current culture? We cannot hide our true heart. What the people say and convey from the front speak volumes about the heart and health of a church. But then again, so do all the people in leadership, not just the ones up front. What is the attitude of ALL the people that you needed to touch base with? Ushers? Children's workers? Greaters?

Also, and this may seem too simple, but look at the welcome center (or whatever they choose to call it). This can often be a great indicator of a church's heart and health. Does it say "We do a few things that we are very passionate about and do them well" or does it say "We want to do everything! So we do everything mediocre". The welcome center/table/kiosk can tell you a lot about a church's focus.

One more. Diversity. The body of Christ is diverse, and so is a healthy church. Not just race, but personality and socioeconomic status as well. A church that looks just like the pastor means that the leadership only gathers people to them that they are comfortable with. This is not healthy. Also, is the leadership diverse or is it a one man show. Cher an I once visited a church where the pastor led worship, took the offering, preached, and did the announcements, and it was a church of a few hundred. A diverse leadership shows that a church is showing people how to serve - empowering and equipping them for service. A one man show says "none of you are as good as I am".

Add the feelings that you get from these things together and then evaluate. It's easy to let one bad experience ruin your view of an entire church, but remember that church is full of people like you, so always evaluate as Christ looks at you - full of love and grace.

This has been on my heart and mind for the last few weeks, that as we've moved into this new season of "sabbatical", we've also moved into a new season for our family of searching for a church. This brought me personally, and us as a family, to a very different perspective then we have ever had. See, as a professional pastor (meaning that's how I've put food on the table) I have never really been able to see church from the other side - finding and evaluating a church for us to just attend and serve at. So I thought since all these ideas were new to me, they may be new to you as pastors and church leaders as well, and also give those of you who may be searching a little more concrete criteria to evaluate by. But first a few disclaimers and acknowledgments:

First, I know I'm not some great church planting guru or mega church pastor. What compels me to share these evaluations ideas is simply that in the last ten years as a pastor, 1) I've never been in this position and thus have never really had these opportunities and 2), if that is true for me, it may be true for many others, church leaders in particular. And honestly, the more churches I visit and evaluate from our family's perspective, the more this is apparent: church leaders mostly think like church leaders and not like church attenders.

Secondly, I want to acknowledge that I am bringing to the table a set of passions for the body of Christ - views on how I believe and how God has shaped what I believe to be true modes of operation for a healthy church. Meaning this: I believe, due to my lifetime in church and my ten years in professional ministry, that church services must do all that they can welcome and cater to the person who is far from God. I believe that as we reach out to those who are far from God (evangelism) we will grow and help others grow in our relationship of God (discipleship). I believe that both must happen simultaneously, not independently. I know that this can be a great point of contention, but this is MY perspective, not THE perspective. I don't think terms like "seeker sensitive", while vital in it's time, are applicable to today's growing and healthy church, because, who is not seeking? We all are.

Know that this is a family perspective and not a pastor's one. My entire family helps us to evaluate these things. And also know that these are our evaluations, not judgments. Anything can be changed and fixed. If you see things that God lights up, make a note and look for opportunities to adjust.

Finally, while I may comment on some things, good or bad, that I've seen in churches, I won't ever mention them by name. The point is to help you find a church and make your church findable, not to slander other churches. The body is great. These are just my thoughts as God leads us.

This morning I announced my resignation from The Carpenter's Community Church. It has been a long, hard, and heartbreaking week telling many of you individually, but still knowing that some of you wouldn't find out til this morning.

I know that there may be lots of questions so let me answer a few, though I will not be talking about why we are leaving, as I don't think it's the best or most important issue. We are leaving the area. We are unsure about some of the details though so we'll keep you up to date as we know more. We were not asked to leave as some of the former pastors here have been - this was my decision. I have been very careful with the language that I've been using this week. Is God in and through all of our decisions with love, wisdom, and compassion? Yes. But did God "call" us away? I can't say "yes" to that with integrity. It is simply time for me to go. While Cher is of course involved in this decision, it was mine to make as it was my position to resign from. However, as many of you in ministry know, ministry involves our entire family, and our entire lives.

As we and Carpenter's enter a time of transition, please know that the elders of the church have the best of the student's hearts in mind as they make decisions and have asked for my consultation on the best way to set this ministry up for the next step.

I am praying for the hope and future of this church - that it would continue to realize it's founding vision to change lives for the kingdom and root them deep in the security of the Word of God. Do not be controlled by fear, but live a free life in the love of God, trusting, as I am, that all things, even crappy ones, work TOGETHER for amazing impact.

I will update more here on my blog as I know more. The heartbreak and sadness of this week has only been offset by the deep joy of grace and love from many of you. I look at these five and a half years as formative for me in ministry and look forward to many more for this church.

Ok so this is pointless good fun. This is what I do with my kids to entertain them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ1HKCYJM5U

Well... I didn't want to make myself out to be a liar. I said I would blog today. After months, here's the one resounding thought in my mind - dissatisfaction is decent motivation. Knowing that I'm not where I want to be is sometimes heart-breakingly hurtful - that I'm not who I should be as a dad, a friend, a follower of Jesus.... But that deep, deep dissatisfaction with myself can either drag my motivation away or it can be seen as a gift. A gift to get me angry enough - mostly at myself - to change. At this point change is getting harder - I've been doing things for longer. So it makes sense to me that it takes a deeper pain to get my motivation churning. No matter what, it's my choice. There is always choice.