Near and Far Faith

One of the most important things to evaluate in a church, especially in a first impression, is also the hardest - the general health of the church. We'll define a healthy church as one able to deal with conflict, having a clear purpose and vision in action, having a purposeful and clear multi-level leadership structure, and a serving and mutually-submissive heart. I know that that is overly simplistic, and as we go I may add to it. Furthermore, these are big broad ideas that take time and careful involvement to evaluate, meaning you cannot often make a clear call on the health of a church on first glance. But if you know what to look for, you can get some indications that will help answer some questions.

What does the pastor say? What do the people say that are up front? Who you put up front are the people that you trust. So what do they project? Do they seem condescending? Bumbling and uninformed? Over-educated? Out of touch with current culture? We cannot hide our true heart. What the people say and convey from the front speak volumes about the heart and health of a church. But then again, so do all the people in leadership, not just the ones up front. What is the attitude of ALL the people that you needed to touch base with? Ushers? Children's workers? Greaters?

Also, and this may seem too simple, but look at the welcome center (or whatever they choose to call it). This can often be a great indicator of a church's heart and health. Does it say "We do a few things that we are very passionate about and do them well" or does it say "We want to do everything! So we do everything mediocre". The welcome center/table/kiosk can tell you a lot about a church's focus.

One more. Diversity. The body of Christ is diverse, and so is a healthy church. Not just race, but personality and socioeconomic status as well. A church that looks just like the pastor means that the leadership only gathers people to them that they are comfortable with. This is not healthy. Also, is the leadership diverse or is it a one man show. Cher an I once visited a church where the pastor led worship, took the offering, preached, and did the announcements, and it was a church of a few hundred. A diverse leadership shows that a church is showing people how to serve - empowering and equipping them for service. A one man show says "none of you are as good as I am".

Add the feelings that you get from these things together and then evaluate. It's easy to let one bad experience ruin your view of an entire church, but remember that church is full of people like you, so always evaluate as Christ looks at you - full of love and grace.

This has been on my heart and mind for the last few weeks, that as we've moved into this new season of "sabbatical", we've also moved into a new season for our family of searching for a church. This brought me personally, and us as a family, to a very different perspective then we have ever had. See, as a professional pastor (meaning that's how I've put food on the table) I have never really been able to see church from the other side - finding and evaluating a church for us to just attend and serve at. So I thought since all these ideas were new to me, they may be new to you as pastors and church leaders as well, and also give those of you who may be searching a little more concrete criteria to evaluate by. But first a few disclaimers and acknowledgments:

First, I know I'm not some great church planting guru or mega church pastor. What compels me to share these evaluations ideas is simply that in the last ten years as a pastor, 1) I've never been in this position and thus have never really had these opportunities and 2), if that is true for me, it may be true for many others, church leaders in particular. And honestly, the more churches I visit and evaluate from our family's perspective, the more this is apparent: church leaders mostly think like church leaders and not like church attenders.

Secondly, I want to acknowledge that I am bringing to the table a set of passions for the body of Christ - views on how I believe and how God has shaped what I believe to be true modes of operation for a healthy church. Meaning this: I believe, due to my lifetime in church and my ten years in professional ministry, that church services must do all that they can welcome and cater to the person who is far from God. I believe that as we reach out to those who are far from God (evangelism) we will grow and help others grow in our relationship of God (discipleship). I believe that both must happen simultaneously, not independently. I know that this can be a great point of contention, but this is MY perspective, not THE perspective. I don't think terms like "seeker sensitive", while vital in it's time, are applicable to today's growing and healthy church, because, who is not seeking? We all are.

Know that this is a family perspective and not a pastor's one. My entire family helps us to evaluate these things. And also know that these are our evaluations, not judgments. Anything can be changed and fixed. If you see things that God lights up, make a note and look for opportunities to adjust.

Finally, while I may comment on some things, good or bad, that I've seen in churches, I won't ever mention them by name. The point is to help you find a church and make your church findable, not to slander other churches. The body is great. These are just my thoughts as God leads us.

This morning I announced my resignation from The Carpenter's Community Church. It has been a long, hard, and heartbreaking week telling many of you individually, but still knowing that some of you wouldn't find out til this morning.

I know that there may be lots of questions so let me answer a few, though I will not be talking about why we are leaving, as I don't think it's the best or most important issue. We are leaving the area. We are unsure about some of the details though so we'll keep you up to date as we know more. We were not asked to leave as some of the former pastors here have been - this was my decision. I have been very careful with the language that I've been using this week. Is God in and through all of our decisions with love, wisdom, and compassion? Yes. But did God "call" us away? I can't say "yes" to that with integrity. It is simply time for me to go. While Cher is of course involved in this decision, it was mine to make as it was my position to resign from. However, as many of you in ministry know, ministry involves our entire family, and our entire lives.

As we and Carpenter's enter a time of transition, please know that the elders of the church have the best of the student's hearts in mind as they make decisions and have asked for my consultation on the best way to set this ministry up for the next step.

I am praying for the hope and future of this church - that it would continue to realize it's founding vision to change lives for the kingdom and root them deep in the security of the Word of God. Do not be controlled by fear, but live a free life in the love of God, trusting, as I am, that all things, even crappy ones, work TOGETHER for amazing impact.

I will update more here on my blog as I know more. The heartbreak and sadness of this week has only been offset by the deep joy of grace and love from many of you. I look at these five and a half years as formative for me in ministry and look forward to many more for this church.

Ok so this is pointless good fun. This is what I do with my kids to entertain them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ1HKCYJM5U

Well... I didn't want to make myself out to be a liar. I said I would blog today. After months, here's the one resounding thought in my mind - dissatisfaction is decent motivation. Knowing that I'm not where I want to be is sometimes heart-breakingly hurtful - that I'm not who I should be as a dad, a friend, a follower of Jesus.... But that deep, deep dissatisfaction with myself can either drag my motivation away or it can be seen as a gift. A gift to get me angry enough - mostly at myself - to change. At this point change is getting harder - I've been doing things for longer. So it makes sense to me that it takes a deeper pain to get my motivation churning. No matter what, it's my choice. There is always choice.

I wanted to post these weeks ago but here are my notes from the Orange Tour conference that I went to in D.C. on 9/15. It was awesome and deep. just enough info to spark some good wise change.


* Key issues we all must wrestle with:
o 1. Allignment of leadership - getting everyone on the same page.
o 2. messaging - how to keep it fresh and relevant
o 3. relationship/community - classes (sunday school, kidzone) don’t disciple on their own)
+ no one has more potential to influence a child than a parent, but the parent is not the only influence a child needs
o 4. Influence - discipleship to students is linked strongly to serving as much or more than teaching. they will feel significant as they do something significant
o 5. Family and our view of it’s potential
+ our time with kids = 40 hrs per year. family = 3000
+ what would happen if i leverage my influence with theirs?
+ the light of the church and the heart of the family should be synchronized
+ everyone is influenced by family (good or bad) only some are influenced by church
+ only 23.5% of families in America are defined by married couples living with biological kids
+ pointing today’s family to a stock picture of what we think can derail their spiritual desires to grow
* Questions for myself...
o how can i make my influence count more?
o how can i grab the influence of families and use it for the kingdom?
o as a church are we reaching and preaching for today’s family or our stock picture of it?
* what is my picture of the ideal family?
* there’s something bigger going on in families than just a picture to hold them up to
o families are messy - Adam and Eve, Noah, Jacob, Joseph, David
* God doesn’t use perfect pictures, he uses broken people - it demonstrates his ability to redeem and restore
* we should never buy into the lyth that we need to become the “right” kind of parent, rather learn to cooperate with whatever God desires to do in your heart so that our children with have a front row seat for examples of grace
* families don’t need a better picture (your family should look like this), but a bigger story (to know that wherever they are God is using them and fitting them into his plan)
o this gets parents to invest in the direction of the story and expands my influence
* the “better picture” philosophy disconnects anyone who is broken from taking part
* the senior pastor has the most airtime with parents
* Questions for myself...
o how can i shift from a “picture” mentality to a “story” mentality?
* The state of the family and the church - barna group partnered research project
o are we thinking about the families OUTSIDE our church?
o 50% of families said that children didn’t effect their connection to a church
+ they are attending most churches and leaving unaffected
o 5% said that the church could help them with biblical teaching or knowledge
o 21% said it could help with “good advice”, 12% with emotional support
o do we give them a plan or strategy to help them? “this is what we’re doing to help”
o one of the best gateways to the unchurched is through the heart of the parent, not an adult alone
o 45%of parents with recent church experience are clear about the church’s expectations on them as parents
o can we reduce our purpose as a church to a few memorable things to help us communicate it to parents?
o parents need hope, not a list of things to do and not do
+ we must create easy to use tools to help parents win - and teach them to use them. they want help!
o 63% of parents have tried to help their children develiope meaningful relationships with adults outside the home
o are our volunteers showing up to fill a need or to follow the discipleship path God has for them?
o people behave and learn relationally, not programatically (it has more to do with relationships build than with the programs we plan. our programs should center on relationship)
+ burnout is a lot faster in a program-based strategy
o what other adults are going to influence my kids besides me?
* Questions for myself...
o how can i better equip my parents to help their families?
+ keep it easy and simple
* middle and high school students are naturally moving towards independance - don’t push against it
o we shouldn't back away though but reengage in a new way.
* we need to help students understand the importance of the relationship with their parents even if it’s not reciprocated.
* don’t replace the parent - rather, but yourself between them as a conduit
* students need to know that the relationship with their parents is worth fighting for
* invest resources in relationships, not programming
* how do we measure success for Ignite? how does the senior pastor? elders? parents?
* it should be by the percentage of participants that are in ministry serving.
o how many are plugging into serving opportunities? how can we get more to do it?
o spiritual growth comes through service
o it breaks the consumer mentality of church
* to make these and any changes the leadership must be on the same page when it comes to the essential principals, like success and strategy.
* Questions for myself...
o what could our students do in our community that would revolutionize the community’s view of the church?
o LVU outreach to pastors ( i don’t remember what i was thinking here)
* 95% of 20-29 yr-olds went to church during elementary school
* 55% went during high school
* 11% during college
* if they went to church when they were 18-22, only 6% of them leave the church now (who are now 23-30 yr-olds
* the church is programmed to draw the finish line at 12th grade
* what happens to the college age student is all of our jobs
* small groups should begin to transition to more independence in 9th - 12th grade
* myths about college ministry:
o the church doesn’t need to get involved, campus ministries will do that
o not enough budget for another ministry - this is about deepening relationships, not programming
o this isn’t a college town
+ only 30%-40% of college-age students go to school full time
o we don’t know how to appeal to that crowd - authenticity and passion is all that’s needed
o we’ve tried and failed - was it a program and did it “fail” because of low attendance?
o it’s not a long-term investment - they’ll leave when they graduate
+ this is in opposition to the kingdom mindset
+ they must know that they are part of a bigger story
o we can’t hire another staffer for college-age ministry
+ this should be a collective church effort
o these are years when they should be growing on their own
+ owning my faith and doing it alone are completely different
+ we should be creating environments where they can wrestle with their faith while they are surrounded by love
* the faith stakes are highest at graduation... when we often choose to disconnect
o we loose our relational influence when the felt need is the greatest
* adulthood indicators don’t show up til 24 yrs-old and older
* the biggest change we can make now it to get students serving


Just my honest thoughts... hope you can get something from it. One change we're making right away is to match small group leaders with a group that they'll stay with through high school instead of grouping by age - as an example.

Faith as it points to my family and day to day life is more and more vague as my relationship with God matures. Why is that?

It was at first very simplistic - trust Jesus, that He died for my sins, and live to be like Him. As we mature though, God begins to invade every crevice of our heart and call out to us to release it and let Him reign there.

As we start that process at salvation, those areas are usually large and obvious - that sinful sexual relationship, drug abuse, deceitfulness. Not that we overcome those sins and are never tempted in them again, but we are now held accountable for the knowledge that they are not in line with the kingdom life - the way that Jesus works in the kingdom that he rules in. And that is new knowledge.

Maybe I'm way off here, but as I grow closer to Christ (as a side note, I really despise the word "mature" here. We are to grow to be more like Him but many Christians have used "mature" as a benchmark that they set for themselves to look down on all who aren't there yet. So... despisementness) I find that there is less and less "stopping" the sinful and more and more "calling" to the radical. We are burdened for the homeless and "poor in spirit". We are impassioned about the injustice we see and brokenhearted for God. We are more and more Jesus and less and less Tucker. It's like god says "You know what is in line with my kingdom now. We've walked through that already. Now expand it with me."

I think that's the way it should be. There should be this joyous vagueness to my life and faith as the boundaries are erased between what I want to call "me", even though I am not my own (1 Cor. 6:19 - You do not belong to yourself), and faith. Thoughts?