I wanted to post these weeks ago but here are my notes from the Orange Tour conference that I went to in D.C. on 9/15. It was awesome and deep. just enough info to spark some good wise change.
* Key issues we all must wrestle with:
o 1. Allignment of leadership - getting everyone on the same page.
o 2. messaging - how to keep it fresh and relevant
o 3. relationship/community - classes (sunday school, kidzone) don’t disciple on their own)
+ no one has more potential to influence a child than a parent, but the parent is not the only influence a child needs
o 4. Influence - discipleship to students is linked strongly to serving as much or more than teaching. they will feel significant as they do something significant
o 5. Family and our view of it’s potential
+ our time with kids = 40 hrs per year. family = 3000
+ what would happen if i leverage my influence with theirs?
+ the light of the church and the heart of the family should be synchronized
+ everyone is influenced by family (good or bad) only some are influenced by church
+ only 23.5% of families in America are defined by married couples living with biological kids
+ pointing today’s family to a stock picture of what we think can derail their spiritual desires to grow
* Questions for myself...
o how can i make my influence count more?
o how can i grab the influence of families and use it for the kingdom?
o as a church are we reaching and preaching for today’s family or our stock picture of it?
* what is my picture of the ideal family?
* there’s something bigger going on in families than just a picture to hold them up to
o families are messy - Adam and Eve, Noah, Jacob, Joseph, David
* God doesn’t use perfect pictures, he uses broken people - it demonstrates his ability to redeem and restore
* we should never buy into the lyth that we need to become the “right” kind of parent, rather learn to cooperate with whatever God desires to do in your heart so that our children with have a front row seat for examples of grace
* families don’t need a better picture (your family should look like this), but a bigger story (to know that wherever they are God is using them and fitting them into his plan)
o this gets parents to invest in the direction of the story and expands my influence
* the “better picture” philosophy disconnects anyone who is broken from taking part
* the senior pastor has the most airtime with parents
* Questions for myself...
o how can i shift from a “picture” mentality to a “story” mentality?
* The state of the family and the church - barna group partnered research project
o are we thinking about the families OUTSIDE our church?
o 50% of families said that children didn’t effect their connection to a church
+ they are attending most churches and leaving unaffected
o 5% said that the church could help them with biblical teaching or knowledge
o 21% said it could help with “good advice”, 12% with emotional support
o do we give them a plan or strategy to help them? “this is what we’re doing to help”
o one of the best gateways to the unchurched is through the heart of the parent, not an adult alone
o 45%of parents with recent church experience are clear about the church’s expectations on them as parents
o can we reduce our purpose as a church to a few memorable things to help us communicate it to parents?
o parents need hope, not a list of things to do and not do
+ we must create easy to use tools to help parents win - and teach them to use them. they want help!
o 63% of parents have tried to help their children develiope meaningful relationships with adults outside the home
o are our volunteers showing up to fill a need or to follow the discipleship path God has for them?
o people behave and learn relationally, not programatically (it has more to do with relationships build than with the programs we plan. our programs should center on relationship)
+ burnout is a lot faster in a program-based strategy
o what other adults are going to influence my kids besides me?
* Questions for myself...
o how can i better equip my parents to help their families?
+ keep it easy and simple
* middle and high school students are naturally moving towards independance - don’t push against it
o we shouldn't back away though but reengage in a new way.
* we need to help students understand the importance of the relationship with their parents even if it’s not reciprocated.
* don’t replace the parent - rather, but yourself between them as a conduit
* students need to know that the relationship with their parents is worth fighting for
* invest resources in relationships, not programming
* how do we measure success for Ignite? how does the senior pastor? elders? parents?
* it should be by the percentage of participants that are in ministry serving.
o how many are plugging into serving opportunities? how can we get more to do it?
o spiritual growth comes through service
o it breaks the consumer mentality of church
* to make these and any changes the leadership must be on the same page when it comes to the essential principals, like success and strategy.
* Questions for myself...
o what could our students do in our community that would revolutionize the community’s view of the church?
o LVU outreach to pastors ( i don’t remember what i was thinking here)
* 95% of 20-29 yr-olds went to church during elementary school
* 55% went during high school
* 11% during college
* if they went to church when they were 18-22, only 6% of them leave the church now (who are now 23-30 yr-olds
* the church is programmed to draw the finish line at 12th grade
* what happens to the college age student is all of our jobs
* small groups should begin to transition to more independence in 9th - 12th grade
* myths about college ministry:
o the church doesn’t need to get involved, campus ministries will do that
o not enough budget for another ministry - this is about deepening relationships, not programming
o this isn’t a college town
+ only 30%-40% of college-age students go to school full time
o we don’t know how to appeal to that crowd - authenticity and passion is all that’s needed
o we’ve tried and failed - was it a program and did it “fail” because of low attendance?
o it’s not a long-term investment - they’ll leave when they graduate
+ this is in opposition to the kingdom mindset
+ they must know that they are part of a bigger story
o we can’t hire another staffer for college-age ministry
+ this should be a collective church effort
o these are years when they should be growing on their own
+ owning my faith and doing it alone are completely different
+ we should be creating environments where they can wrestle with their faith while they are surrounded by love
* the faith stakes are highest at graduation... when we often choose to disconnect
o we loose our relational influence when the felt need is the greatest
* adulthood indicators don’t show up til 24 yrs-old and older
* the biggest change we can make now it to get students serving
Just my honest thoughts... hope you can get something from it. One change we're making right away is to match small group leaders with a group that they'll stay with through high school instead of grouping by age - as an example.
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