Near and Far Faith

Here's a blog post that gives some more info about the murder of Amanda Bishop that I talked about last week in this post. The Comments are sobering.

Rule 3: Keep your mouth shut. I've noticed a lot lately my pension for talking when I'm nervous. And talking when I'm excited. And talking when I'm passionate. This is no surprise for me, but what is sobering is the amount of conversations that I interrupt.

I do it to Cherie the most. She has a long list of Godly qualities, but if nothing else, she still talks to me, AND LISTENS, after 8 years. I've also realized that this problem has been intensified lately as my leadership has begun to grow more. I'm excited and passionate about a cause, which should be on every leader's resume. But it can lead to ignorance. I don't hear people because I'm too concerned with getting my point across, even if it's just a related incident in a casual conversation.

Here's the encouraging part (because this can seem like one of those boomerang problems): if you can master it just one conversation at a time, the less you talk the more people listen. I've found when I go into a conversation determined to speak as little as possible, that when I do speak heads turn and people's body language automatically tells me "You have the stage".

But keep it short. I ramble trying to make sure everyone understands and usually I end up just confusing them. Build a culture that says "When I ask you if you understand, you'd better speak up because that's your chance."

Whether you're a CEO or a high school student, these rules apply.

Rule 2: Replace yourself. I take this one from Andy Stanley and his 7 Practices of Effective Ministry and it's podcast, Practically Speaking. I talk about this one a lot because I see it apply a lot, and it's this: Every leader should be trained to work themselves out of a job.

This might not be new for some of us, but in practice it's rare. Here's why: insecurity. I see it's danger in myself. I'm secure in my position - I love my job. The thought of losing it is scary, so stay away from my turf. Where we often go wrong is that we're not replacing ourselves and losing our positions, we're making way for others. It's like sharing. We've all struggled with it since we were 1 or 2, but refusing to allow others to rise up behind you and take over your responsibilities causes 2 problems: you stop growing in leadership and spiritually due to a lack of increasing challenge, and you impeded the growth of others around you. I've also noticed that the long a leader refuses to replace themselves, the more people are impeded and the more people disappear for "no reason", and the leader is left alone with no followers. That's not leading.

2 examples from this: One is the pastor that has a hard time letting others preach for fear of falling out of the spot light. Thankfully Jim just talked about this Sunday and how he enjoys getting other, even more talented teachers, on our stage. Another example of the failure to abide by this rule is the high school student who goes to college, graduates, and returns home... and stays. Not that there aren't exceptions, of course, but think about it... It's a combination of another leader not moving out of the way and a younger leader seeing no reason to continue movement.

Whether you're a CEO or a high school student, these rules apply.

I wanted to take a few posts and talk about some of the key rules that I've learned from various leaders and experiences. In my opinion, a Christ-follower is a leader. So it's our responsibility to learn about ourselves and grow that leadership potential so we can lead others to Christ Himself (I think that's why the phrase was coined... LEAD).

Rule 1: Know the law of respect. Really, first everyone - yeah everyone - should read The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell. Changed my life and I refer back to it constantly. The law of respect is a humbling principle that says that people will follow leaders who are stronger than they are due to respect for their leadership. Someone who is an 8 (on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the strongest) will rarely follow a 6. Maxwell says "The less skilled follow the more highly skilled and gifted."

You can improve your leadership though - say grow from a 6 to an 8 - but it requires work. Work that I don't always want to put in.

The rule though is to admit that there are others more apt to lead than you, but you still have a purpose in the kingdom and in life in general.

Another key after admitting this, is to identify to lacking areas of personnel in your life with 2 questions: "Are there people following me?" (that's a big one we'd like to skip) and "Are there stronger leaders in my life to follow?" The second can be threatening at first, but you can learn more from those who are stronger.

Whether you're a CEO or a high school student, these rules apply.

I'm purposefully taking a lazy family day today. Tate slept until almost nine (thought the rapture might have come - kids first). Food shopping is the only thing on our to-do list today.

It was a long week that started with Charm City and I feel like I barely saw my family. It's too easy to let the passion of ministry seep though your life into every part. I'm a very strong believer in keeping parts of your life ministry-free, ministry-absent. The church doesn't rise and fall on me. But my family does.

Lesson 4: Humility is neccesary for any ministry. Saturday night as we hung out in Tent City, Colleen, Crystal and I went over to an elderly lady on a bench. After giving her some food, we asked her if we could pray for her and as we finished she began to pray for us. Not that you can tell for certain, but when she prayed I could sense that she was saved. She had prayed before - she was honest and knew God by the way she talked to Him.

She prayed for me and you know what, I needed it as much as she did. We get so haughty as Christians - like because we know God we're better people (I'm not even going to get into spinning basketballs). Here sat on a bench at midnight in the part of Baltimore that you might visit with your family, someone that I'll know for eternity. Next time I ask God why he's doing what He's doing, I'll be grateful that I'm not asking "Why did you take my home and family away."

I'm not better because I'm saved. The simple difference between me and a pre-christian is that I know what my purpose is and I'm living to accomplish it. And even that gets hairy sometimes. Everyone should get prayed for by a homeless person once in their lives

I finished episode 4 of The Little Big Church Podcast today with the interview I talked about last week - Ben Arment. Ben is the former pastor of Reston Community Church and has a passion for seeing churches succeed from the start. Check out his blog here and listen to the podcast at littlebigchurchpodcast.com (or slack off and click the link to the right under "pages").